So, I was thinking the other day about all of the expectations that I have had for Emily before she was even born. I basically had her life and my parenting style completely planned out with no room for error. I couldn't even imagine straying from my "plan."
However, with life of course comes obstacles and adaptations and I thought that it would be nice to list all of the things that I told myself that I would never do once I had a child.
1. Formula: I was soooo against using formula when I was pregnant. I knew that breastfeeding was the best, and cheapest way to go, and I wanted Emily to have all of the many advantages of being breastfed. Breastfeeding started out really smooth, even after battling mastitis within her first week of life; and we never had a problem with it. That was until I started to go back to work. My coworkers and supervisors were very understanding and I was able to pump; however, there were times where instead of pumping 4 times during an 8 hour shift, I was only able to pump once or maybe twice. This, on top of school (during the first half of the semester, I took an 8 week class on campus), took a MAJOR impact on my supply and I started to dry up, no matter how hard I tried to avoid it. I drank nothing but water, took my Prenatals and even ate oatmeal (which I hate) to try to increase my supply and nothing worked.
Fortunately though, I was able to exclusively breast feed Emily for a little over 3 mos before I had to switch to formula... it just still sucks to know that I wasn't able to go a full year breast feeding. :(
2. Co-Sleeping: Emily started out sleeping in mine and Mike's room because I was sooooo paranoid about her being in her crib. We kept her in a packnplay beside our bed... but as she got older, and as work and 16 credit hours of classes started to take a toll on me... what started as 2am feedings and cuddles with mommy turned into co-sleeping throughout the night. I was soo ashamed to tell people that I co-slept with Emily for the longest time because I didn't want people to think that I was a bad mother. But then... I decided that it didn't matter what people thought because not only did I co-sleep safely, with no covers or pillows, what works for one family... might not work for another. And truth be told, I loved the fact that during the night Emily would reach up and put her hand on my cheek as she slept. Co-sleeping only lasted for about a month and a half... and she now sleeps through the night in her crib. However, if she does wake up in the night... I will still put her in bed with me and Mike.. :)
3. No schedule... no problem: When I was pregnant and even after I had Emily I was sooo set on having a schedule for her. I read BabyWise etc and I wanted to make sure Emily was able to put her self to sleep etc. even though my mom has always told me, "you can't put a baby on a schedule, you must schedule your time around your baby."
I tried the CIO method... that lasted 2 days... lol I couldn't do it...
I took a lot of advice from BabyWise, like having Emily on the feed, play, nap routine.
However, I didn't force Emily into a schedule. She picked her own sleep, eating, playing schedule and it works sooo well for us. She sleeps through the night, wakes up happy and ready to play, and takes good naps during the day. I couldn't have asked for anything more!
I can't think of too much else that has changed in regards to my parenting style since Emily has been here... but I'm sure there will be more additions to this list as she grows older.
On a side note... one thing I SURE won't change is Emily's diapers.... we started her on Pampers and loved them. Anyway, we recieved a box of Luv's from a family member so we didn't want them to go to waste. We used them and quickly found out how much we hated them.... :)
Sophia is on formula too. I still breastfeed at night, but the supply has gone down soooo much since the surgery. It sucks because of her heart defect, we HAD to supplement or else she wouldn't gain weight! I'm disappointed too, but next time baby hopefully will be different.
ReplyDeleteSoph also co-slept with me for at least 2 hours while Anthony was gone. Now she sleeps next to us and will adjust to her crib later :)
Soph also has made her own schedule. She sleeps really good during the night, is active during the day with a few naps. I guesspeople know best when they say a baby makes her own schedule :)
I love this post :)
ReplyDelete1. I know how you feel. I BF exclusively for 3 months... and now we do 50/50 of formula and breastmilk. I still get sort of depressed when I give him formula but I know I don't really have a choice.
2. Do what works for you guys... and since when is cuddling through the night so bad :) When Dax wakes up for his morning feeding (5:30 during the week or about 7:30 on the weekends) he goes back to bed with us for another 2 or 3 hours afterwards. I love it and so does he :)
3.I know some people swear by it but I knew from the get go Babywise wasn't for me. We've let Dax build his own schedule and it works out so perfect for all of us. In the beginning when I tried to make a schedule it led to nothing but me and Daniel being stressed and Dax getting upset. Now that he has worked out his own schedule all of us are much happier and relaxed.
LOVE YOU AND LITTLE EMILY!!
I love this, too. I could totally relate with the schedule bit.
ReplyDeleteAt first, once I realized the schedule didn't work for us I felt like a failure and started to get seriously depressed about it. I would obsess over it... but then realizing that we're both SO much happier when he just lets me know what he leads... I'm going by his clock - and it's so freeing! I def don't feel like a failure and I never needed to. You just hear so many mothers talk about the importance of a schedule... but you have to go with what works for you.
So, thanks for this... glad to know I'm not the only one who's idea of a schedule got thrown out the window. :)